Also my nan is really sick and its like stay by the phone to get ”the phone call” you know that phone call to say that someone you love has passed i hate those phone calls. So it is mine and tams next try next week and i am really excited hopefully it will work this time and i really hope it does to be honest.

We went out a couple of days ago it was a big dyke outing we had such a good time, far to much booze consumed. Tam has pulled the muscles in her stomach from laughing to much all in all it was a fantastic night shame we wont be doing it again for a while. That is one thing i am going to miss in cambridge our friends they are fantastic people and we are gpoing to miss them loads anyways best get bck to work. oh sorry for not writing for a couple days loads to do little time to do it in.

Right the meaning of my title today we were sat downworking out all our finances boring i know but we all have to do it unfortunatly and realised with all the money in the world i wouldnt change a thing about my life. I feel truly greatful to have such an amazing wife and such an amazing family. I would be poor everyday and be with tam and my family then be rich and be without them for even one second. All i want to say is thankyou to all the people that have made this year truly the best year of my life.

Right everyone has to keep there fingers crossed for me and tam as we are going for the pregnancy test today and i am realy nervous to be honest because we have prepared ourselves if it says that im not pregnant but i dont think we have prepared if it says yes. Of coarse we wil be really happy and scared, nervous there will be so many different emotions running through our bodies at the same time and i dont know how my bdy will react. I really do want to be pregnant though it would make our christmas absoutly perfect.

So everyone pray for us and keep our dream cose to your heart and i will et al you know if we have a baby or not take care.

Right it all started a couple of days ago when we got a phone call from tams sisters boyfriend saying that we made him feel uncomfortable and he wanted to talk to us about and we respect him so much for telling us to our face but he suggested that we talk to tams mum and step dad before christmas just to get things clear about wehat makes people feel uncomfortable espcially as we are spending christmas with everyone. The last thing me or tam wanted to do was make anyone feel uncofortable so i took the plunge and rang my mother in law only to be told by her step dad that he is homophobic and is finding it hard to come to to terms with the fact the him step daughter is gay let alone that she is married to a woman. Her mum wasnt much better and said that my gay out and proud personality offended her and she basically in not so many words asked me to tone down my gayness around her as you can imagine i was not best pleased by this but held my tounge for the sake of tam.

Then yesterday Tam got a phone call from her  mum saying thatshe doesnt get that my personality is built around the fact that im gay which it is because the way i see it my real personality didnt come out untill i came out that i was gay. Tam got angry and hung up the phone on her mum, then not long after tam got another phone call from her mum saying that she has had enough and doesnt think that we should spend christmas with them im sorry but who says that to there daughter no matter what there life style is.

What i dont understand is they were happy to come to our wedding and play happy families and act like they are happy for us, but i feel that is all it was a act. I find it very two faced that they could sit there and watch us get married when they think its wrong.

So i would love your opinons on the matter do you think it is 2 faced or is this just me being angry?

Right the good news we think that i could still be pregnant on the fact that i had my period so we thought that it was all over but it was alot lighter than usual and it has only lasted 2 day when normally it lasts at least 5 and im in absoulte agony and this time i havn’t been. So every one keep your fingers crossed for us and i promise to keep you all posted on it.

On a good note my mum and dad came up to see me and tam today which was fantastic but i havent told them we are trying for a baby so i had to smoke and it is the first time in like nearly 2 weeks. It was really good to see them though they picked up all our things to make it easier to move it made me realize how lucky i am to have such good family they are always there for me when i need them and always go out there way to help me. Put it this way they traveled 250 miles today jut to collect our things so we didn’t have to hire  van i have realized that i am really blessed i have a family who love me a wife who would go to the end of the earth with me if i wanted her to just to keep me happy and that is a lot more than a lot of people have.

I feel very fourtunate and happy to have such a good wife and family what more can i ask for well maybe one thing a family fo my own.

Right the next thing were moving house on the 27th of this month i know very sudden but i miss my family far to much and i want to be closer to them again. I am so excited to be moving back it is going to be awesome to see my friends again, i just hope that Tam likes it doen there and that she likes my friends. My friends back home are a little bit like marmite you either like them or you dont and i hope she does. We have got ourselves a lovely little flat right near the town its going to be perfect for us I know it is. but i cant help but worry about Tam though as it is a totally new thing for her and it couldnt be more of a dramtic move if we tryed, i just hope that she will be happy in our new home.

Things between me and tam seem really good except we are both bery sexually frustrated to be fair she is more but its driving me nuts i want her so much but whenever the oppotunity pops up something gets in the way mainly time or me getting paraniod she is treating me differently which i can now see was in my mind as has nothing to do with her so roll ontonight im going to make it perfect.

Anyways ive got to go call a old friend and go to work so will speak to you soon.

So i had work and i think i am serious trouble as i took some bets i shouldnt of done and now i may get a disiplinary for it which is really not good news. On a better note my mummy and daddy are coming up soon with my big sis and my neice i can’t wait to see them all i havnt seen them for months. I miss my family so much i wish we could just up sticks and move down there and be with them. It is really hard to be away from your family and with it coming up to christmas it makes me miss them more. But i have my new family now i have my wife and hopefully we will have a baby inside me at christmas that would make our christmas perfect.

So thats all there is to say today speak tomorrow.

I know i shouldnt think this but i am praying that it happens this time as i am longing for a baby with tam, i know we would make amazing parents and i just want the oppotunity to prove that. I keep rubbing my belly as if im urging it to work which is really silly i know but i just cant help myself.

Tam seems really happy at the fact that we maybe pregnant and we may be a complete family in a few months time. Life seems so good at the moment everything has just fallen into place and now all we have to do is live this life forever which i would do in a heartbeat as in my eyes its perfection.